It was great seeing so many of my brothers and sisters from the Marine Corps on social media celebrating the historic birthdate of the most fierce, effecient, and effective fighting force that the world has ever know. The thing that always dampens my spirit a little is that not all Marines are really down for Marines. Our government is not, & historically has not been down for all of its veterans. That does also go for many of the current, or those that were mistreated during their enlistment. Racism is not extinct within the armed forces, as many might believe. There are still those that can overlook the uniform, and continue to harbor the bigoted mindsets that they brought along with them. Just because we trained together, many made it clear that we will not reign together.
I will never claim to have been an angel during my enlistment, but I did take full responsibility for all of my actions. This cannot be said to have been reciprocated. I was injured during my time on the Corps, but I was forced to train as if we were in war. My commanding officer for a deployment at that time said that there was no such thing as limited duty in war. As a Marine, I followed the orders of the officer, and continued to press on through all of the pain. The suffering I endured as a result of the decisions of this one individual still plague me to this day, and with it being twenty years later it is only getting worse. Before this occurrence, I had become a better man from the prior mistakes that I had made. I learned from them, and made a vow to do all the I could to live up to the Corps values that had been instilled within us all (or so I thought.) I was a first class Physical Fitness Training recipient & a rifle expert. I was back on track, and regaining the leadership qualities that I had once displayed.
As I was continuing to be forced to train, against the recommendations of the corpsmen and other medical staff, the pain began to become unbearable. The medical staff said that they were not allowed to give any stronger medications without their being some actual surgery or other major medical emergency. So, I was dealing with all of the ever-increasing pain with no more than 800 milligram Motrin. I was at my wits end. I had to find some form of relief, but I was & still find myself totally against the inputting of the dangerous illegal narcotics which many that I knew turned to. I for that reason turned to alcohol as an anesthetic for the excruciating pain that I was enduring. I began to drink at any and every opportunity that presented itself. Early in the morning or late at night. During lunch breaks as well as on the job if I could. I just wanted some relief. This behavior did not take long to start causing issues., but even before these issues, I found myself at odds with the new First Sergeant that had joined the company. By this time, the injuries had become so bad that I had been forced into limited duty. As car inspections were being performed before a 96 (a four day holiday weekend), the First Sergeant call the Company Commander over to my car. The First Seargent asked the Company Commander how an E-3 could afford a car like mine. Then he began to insinuate that I must have more money coming in than just my military pay. This was the beginning of the end. Due to my harassment, I began to live off of the base, but this did not bode well for and individual that was drinking incessantly in an attempt to function without crippling pain. I soon after received my first DWI. During that encounter I was informed that some marijuana was found. I did not smoke weed, so I made it clear that did not belong to me. After some brief investigations and drug tests, the city dropped the possession charge. This enraged the aforementioned first sergeant. I believe that he now felt that he had his proof that I was accumulating money by selling drugs. So, not only were things deteriorating at work, but my body was getting worse as well.With that being said, the drinking habit was getting heavier and more potent. I had progressed from just drinking beer, to mixing that with strong liquor. Subsequently, I did acquire another DWI. I was sent to a treatment facility on base during the work week to deal with the problem. I could not drink, but I chose to take obscene amounts of over-the counter medicine.i would mix those with the prescription medication that I had. The treatment offered plenty of suggestions to avoid drinking, but they did not in any way help me to learn hope to manage the pain. So, as I returned to work the downward spiral again progressed without any further medical assistance to deal with the root of the problem.
I was eventually sent to Bethesda, Maryland for the military to get me an MRI on my back. I was still being forced to train when the results came back of multiple herniated disc in my lumbar region. That is when I was referred for a medical board for separation due to physical limitations. This fact came at the disdain of the First Sergeant, and he was hell bent not to let that happen. I had received another DWI as I tried to deal with the excruciating pain of service. Even though I had received multiple awards of appreciation for my service, and my proficiency and conduct numbers remained average other than the infractions, the racist staff nco did everything within his power to ruin me. I was still forced to train, and he went even further with the battalion commander deployed at the time. I had just been acquitted at a Court Martial for possession of marijuana. The first sergeant’s testimony was thrown out of the case for his repeated false accusations toward me. The Captain That was standing in for the Lieutenant Colonel was a good aquatint of the first Sergeant, since he was the commander of our sister company. He had no knowledge of my situation, and was going strictly off of the word of the first Sergeant. So, even though I had requested a change of command after the malicious statements given by the first Sergeant, he still decided not to let my medical separation proceed. He used his relationship to get a pattern of misconduct brought against me. Then he moved my command, instead of just letting the process continue before he had pushed for that fraudulent court martial. So, the pattern of misconduct was accepted.
I have had no assistance from the VA due to my Other Than Honorable discharge. All of the pain persists, but no help along the way. Even though I had put money into the Montgomery G.I. Bill. I was not given anything since I had to wait more than 10 years to really start a school where I needed to utilize it. I have been fighting for almost two decades to get my discharge upgraded. So, I get tired of all of the rhetoric of how this nation takes care of its veterans. Our history has proven that is not usually the case with veterans of color. The aforementioned GI bill was not even offered to black veterans during its inception, and that was one of the greatest catalyst to the White middle and upper class. This nation always uses it’s veterans as a rallying point, but they do not rally around them. We see the rough conditions of the VA system itself, and that system is not helping all of the veterans. As I continue a good deal of community service and volunteer work, and I see how many of the ho else’s and destitute are veterans. This is absurd, and it is sickening in a nation that boasts so much patriotism. So, the next time that you hear people claiming how much they support our troops and veterans, ask them what have they done to support them? Then you will see that many have not, do not and will not really do anything. DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, BE ABOUT IT!
The more things change, the worse things seem to get. When I was first called into the ministry, I disregarded the call due to my insecurities and my love for the world as far as what I thought that it had to offer. I was also concerned that later in my life of ministry I would run out of sermons to preach. First, that showed my lack of understanding of the living word, which quickens us on a daily basis. Secondly, I did not realize the evil that is ever present in this world that will supply and unending amount of material to write upon when it comes to the grace and mercy of God. When I see the level of unforgiveness and utter hate that so many people carry in there heart for years, if not decades, which is totally destroys them from the inside out.
This is why I know that I have to get back in to the beauty industry. There is so much that is spiritually & emotinally ugly in this society that I want at least be a part of something that is beautiful. I am well aware that beauty is only skin deep, but that can be just the beginning of something great. When someone looks good, they often tend to feel better. If that starting point is nurtured correct.y, then it can be a catalyst for an internal change. That is all the more reason that I vow to teach others the art of invoking an internal change, even if it starts with extenal enhancement. Once they see that they are invaluable, then they tend to want to let others know the same. Evil is what it is, but love overcomes evil if it is brought into the equation. So, today is the day to start the love. I am starting a non-profit organization that will focus on realizing self-worth, economic empowerment, community building and entrepreneurial spirit. I pray that if you have read this far, the. You understand where I am coming from, because I did reveal a number of aspects about myself. I just hope that you will help me to obtain the vision that I have for the people which will be enlightened by it. You can contribute by clicking here.
There is nothing wrong with consumption in & of itself, but there must be moderation. That is with almost anything. We have to learn the difference between what we need & what we want. It is part of life to want things, but the wants cannot supersede the needs. That is why investing should be seen as a need. That is why knowledge of investing is a must. An investment should yield a return, but things that are just consumables only will just be consumed. Please invest in the future of our youth by helping me to get this non-profit started to educate our youth on financial literacy.